I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
