I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
