I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
