oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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