The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
