can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
