As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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