My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
your like the ambassador to my penis.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
