He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
