You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she peed on how many people?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
