woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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