okay pat passed out under dana's car
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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