you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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