Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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