took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
is that a dick in a sweater?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
