just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
