I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
