There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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