shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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