he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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