Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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