Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i need some magic done to my vagina
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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