I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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