wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
