I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
