"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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