she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
