Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
