Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Randomize
