We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
