dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
