When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
