; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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