Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
