thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
