how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
