so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
