My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
