dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
