oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
