All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
