It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
operation harelip BJ is a go
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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