Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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