why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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