Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
