woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
