By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
