We're facebook friends in real life
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
