he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
