We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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